On 15th November 2023, a news flashed out from the WHO (World Health Organization) headquarters announcing a new Commission on Social Connection to address loneliness, with US Surgeon General Dr Vivek Murthy as its co-chair.

 

In 2018, UK had appointed its first Minister for Loneliness.

“For too long, loneliness has existed behind the shadows, unseen and underappreciated, driving mental and physical illness,” Dr Murthy said. “Now, we have an opportunity to change that.”

In 2018, UK had appointed its first Minister for Loneliness. In 2021, Japan appointed its own Loneliness Minister as suicide rates increased for the first time in 11 years. In the first week of November 2023, New York state appointed sex therapist Dr Ruth Westheimer as its first loneliness ambassador. 

Loneliness economy is growing – dating apps, robot pets, hugging apps etc. are all in the market. Sadly, they are band-aid approaches without addressing its root cause, and that’s the fear – even if loneliness economy grows, loneliness may end up causing a dent in economies of nations!

The old corporate adage ‘it is lonely at the top’ is no more true! In fact, the C-suite executives and MSMEs (Micro Small Medium Enterprises) business owners communicate with employees more often than before. Some even play golf and other sports with their employees.

Loneliness cuts across all ranks in societal hierarchy, continents, religion, age-groups, gender etc. It affects the rich and poor. Loneliness is omnipresent.

According to a global survey, 33% of adults globally feel lonely. Brazil tops the list with 50% of adults feeling lonely often, always or sometime. In India, 46% of adults felt lonely at least sometimes. The numbers are an estimate, and something that we cannot ignore. What we are seeing may be the tip of the iceberg.

Intermittent loneliness has not spared anyone and resilient people generally overcome it. Sometimes intermittent loneliness is by choice – you want to be with yourself for a while. It’s your ‘me-time.’

It is the chronic loneliness, which is never by choice, and which is a slow, silent killer that needs to be addressed.

Each individual is different and each person’s loneliness has a different reason.

Loneliness is historical, although the modern literature dates it around the Industrial Revolution. In India, thousands of years ago, rishis (sages) would go to isolated places like the Himalayas to meditate. Rishis either just lived there or returned, giving path-breaking philosophies of life. All these sages went to remote places on their own; it was their choice.

Long-term loneliness by choice is solitude. In solitude, one chooses to disconnect from people for a purpose and this is because solitude is restorative and it provides the bandwidth to think, plan, recharge and create.

When intermittent loneliness is by choice, I called it aloneness. In aloneness, one is disconnected from people, by choice. Loneliness is usually destructive while aloneness is mostly meditative. Loneliness hurts while aloneness soothes.

Loneliness is usually destructive while aloneness is mostly meditative.  

So, loneliness is nothing new; and, it was never an issue to be addressed as it was usually intermittent whether by choice or otherwise. Also, earlier we used to avoid talking about it. Today we are more vocal, thanks to social media. And the population of the world has increased; so, the number of lonely people has increased. The WHO (World Health Organization) has realized it and is addressing the issue. 

The paradox of social media is that although it is supposed to connect people, yet it disconnects them, perhaps due to the physical distance (as there is no face to face interaction) and the differences of opinion that it creates. Meeting in person is seldom an element of social media which is how it creates the disconnect and becomes a contributor to loneliness.   

It is important to remember that loneliness evolved as a survival tool and it reminds us of the significance of companionship, but becomes a silent killer when there is lack of companionship. The unpleasant feeling that loneliness creates encourages us to be connected with fellow human beings which assures our place in the group thereby increasing our chances of survival. Loneliness evolved and motivated humans to stay together in groups and improve chances of survival long enough to pass on the genes. 

Historically, if you were alone, you would be eaten up by wild animals; hence there was the need to connect. For most part of human history, in the absence of connecting with fellow human beings, death was inevitable. Hence loneliness, if ever present, was never prolonged.   

Today there are no wild animals, and so most people think that the the need to be physically connected is less important. They are happy to be app-connected via WhatsApp, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram etc. It works for a short while – months or a few years. In the interim, after a few days or weeks, the mind wants to physically connect with people. If this want is suppressed due to whatever reasons, the person becomes alone and if unchecked enters the blackhole of loneliness. By this time, the interest in app-connection also diminishes as it no longer provides the excitement it earlier did.

To escape the blackhole state of loneliness, make every attempt to be physically connected in this app-connected world; and sooner the better. The world of blackhole state of loneliness is so deep, dark and dangerous that coming out of it is quite an effort once it is long-term or chronic. Parents, friends and relatives must be able to appreciate the features of loneliness and be able to reach out.

How to recognize loneliness in individuals:

  • appear disconnected from other people
  • don’t talk to others as much as they did earlier
  • sad appearance

A big mental health pandemic is to be expected in the near future as the current younger generation (Millennials, GenZ and even Alpha) as well as the older one are majorly app-connected. All of us have to make conscious efforts to meet people more often. Work From Home is also creating loneliness as all communication is virtual (online) without much face-to-face interaction.

Modern way of living has increased the risk of getting lonelier. I remember as a child in the 1970s, we could go to anyone’s house without a prior appointment; not anymore. This is akin to what the aristocrats did in the past; they isolated themselves from the society on the basis of wealth and status and confined themselves to a life of loneliness.

Loneliness is a survival tool and reminds us of the significance of companionship, but becomes a silent killer when there is lack of companionship.

According to historians, loneliness began during the Industrial Revolution (around 1760 AD) in Europe when people left their homes and families to work in factories. In the new towns and cities that formed around the factories the communities became smaller thus marking a start of a permanent roadway to loneliness.

Mankind has not been able to prevent loneliness; however, early recognition and timely steps taken can lessen it and that does have a positive impact on physical and mental health. The effect of loneliness is not only on the worker but also on families, especially if they are living far away, and that is why it needs to be tackled aptly.

As time passed, even distance did not matter for loneliness to set in. Today one can experience loneliness even in the same household and circumstances leading to it must be identified and acted upon before loneliness in one or more house members becomes chronic and debilitating. 

In the modern era, as social media overrides companionship, loneliness has ceased to be a survival kit; in fact, it is a deadly epidemic that kills prematurely and that has made WHO to announce a new Commission on Social Connection. Loneliness is a public health problem.

Dr Karen DeSalvo, a committee member of the WHO Commission on Social Connection, who is also the chief health officer at Google, said that when she was a clinician and when she was health commissioner of New Orleans, she learned firsthand that “great care matters, but it has to happen in a context” – and that includes social connection.

Chronic loneliness can also lead to poor physical health. It is two times more dangerous than being obese; it is similar to being an alcoholic or smoking 15 cigarettes daily. The risk of premature death in lonely people is around 25 percent. The risk of stroke is around 30 percent. Loneliness is also associated with 50 percent increase in dementia.

People who are lonely also have more unhealthy habits (smoking, drinking excess alcohol, sedentary lifestyle) that accelerate aging and many life-threatening diseases. Research has also shown that lack of social connection is linked with poor mental health and an increased risk of anxiety, depression, and suicide.

There are many reasons for loneliness – living alone, leaving home for education, start of college life, chronic health issues, loss of family member or friend, limited financial resources, lower level of education, having a physical disability etc. 

What can be done to undo loneliness?

It is never too late. Join meaningful associations and clubs where you can do good for society while making friends and break the trend of living alone. According to historian Keith Snell, the trend of living alone is the most significant cause of loneliness. Living with the family or close friends helps convert the dread of loneliness to a magic of connection. 

One can prevent loneliness by being mentally strong. Don’t let circumstances deter you from doing your work and achieving what you want; however, be realistic. Overcome all your shortcoming. There are plenty of examples of men and women in history who overcame one and all of the reasons cited above for loneliness and moved forward. 

Research has shown that individualistic nations (USA, Europe including UK) have high levels of loneliness compared to collectivist cultures (Japan, China, Brazil, India etc.). However, this is changing due to globalization, consumerism and travel making loneliness more widespread and universal, including in India.

One thing good about loneliness is that it is not always negative. If it can be a health risk, it can also be a spur to action. In order to create great work, writers like Virginia Woolf and May Sarton have harnessed not just solitude, but the aching pain of loneliness. Loneliness, for them was a privilege, a luxury on which they thrived.

Many are lonely in a crowd. In today’s modern world, touching someone may not always be politically correct and it can be blown out of proportion. Touch is important while dealing with a person who is lonely, just as other senses like smell, taste and even sound (remember the joy of a ringing doorbell during Covid). And we are afraid to touch, thereby foregoing an effort to address loneliness. Touch a fundamental human need, like food, water and house.

Loneliness is not always negative; for some it is a privilege, a luxury on which they thrive.

Workplace loneliness was growing even before the pandemic. In future, Work From Home is likely to immensely contribute to loneliness. It is a slow process and will take time to manifest; hence it is good to work at least 2 days in office every week. It is important to know that loneliness can occur in every worker, young or old, and workplace wellness programs must account for this and many other variables. Loneliness can affect a previously top performing employee. Upskilling and training will not improve performance of a lonely and isolated employee, identifying its reasons will. 

Recent research has also pointed that workers working with AI systems may be prone to be lonely and Occupational Health physicians and/or wellness managers must be mindful of this and include these workers too in company’s wellness programs and social events.

Some of the things that help combat workplace loneliness are:

  • Welcome a new employee and make them comfortable in the new environment
  • Prioritize talking about the organization 
  • Encourage talking and participating in all activities
  • Assign a mentor
  • Have team lunches
  • Have regular internal communication
  • Include in decision making

For some loneliness is a choice, albeit momentarily, and they thrive on it. For those in whom loneliness isn’t out of choice, it is a difficult living, and they need help, sooner the better.

How we respond to loneliness, in others and ourselves, requires maturity, insight, understanding and pondering. Hope the collective wisdom of mankind will come to the rescue of loneliness!

Leaders, both political and business, must realize the seriousness of the issue of loneliness and invest in wellness programs that account for loneliness as it will protect physical and mental health of individuals as well as economies of nations.

Loneliness hurts, it is painful; it causes diseases, it causes premature deaths, it reduces worker performance and hence industrial productivity. Loneliness can be prevented or lessened and the people made happy and productive. Like the UK and Japan, all countries must appoint a Minister for Loneliness. India is no exception; it is time India appoints a Minister for Loneliness.

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Dr Ajay Sati is an Occupational Health physician who prefers to describe himself as an Occupationist, to denote, ‘an expert in diseases and other concerns of occupations.’ Dr Sati has managed health and wellness programs in industries he worked, like the atomic energy, and energy (oil & gas) in India and overseas. An experienced virtual consultation expert he was involved in many greenfield and brownfield projects providing inputs from health point of view.